The Towel Room.

I'm a firm believer that 99.9999% of life is mental. We are met with experiences that make us question our abilities and potentially cause us to fear the possibilities of the future—relationships, careers, etc. Fear of the unknown...is how the saying goes. But how does one fear something one doesn’t know? Doesn’t make sense, but it happens.

I’m not ashamed to admit that it happens to me.

Stick me in the middle of Bangkok's JJ's Weekend Market, I'll eventually find my way out. Go off trail and get lost in the Tamana Negara jungle, I'll just retrace my tracks. But take me home, no debt, no major expenses, and with the ability to make moves in every which way...

Can I freak out now?
Yes? Okay.


FREEEEEAKING OUT!

Life got complicated…and scary…when I stopped thinking about progressing. Nine months ago, I gave myself six months to start traveling again. Six months ago, I started working. Five months ago, I picked up a second gig. Two months ago, I realized I was burnt out. One month ago, I turned 25. Two weeks ago, I sat hunched over and cried in a towel bin, as I asked myself:

What the fuck am I doing?

My very own Scrubs moment.

The transition back to everything North American, more specifically, Hollywoodian (?) was the hardest thing I had to go through. The culture, the people, the mentality, this weird attachment to material things and pseudo-connections, everything…I didn’t want to associate with it. So I chose not to think about it. I grabbed the remote, paused my brain, and picked up two jobs. For four months, I worked like a machine between 50-55 hours a week with one day off. Everything that was in focus before somehow dissipated.

Work. Work out. More work. Sleep.

Work out. Work. More work. Sleep.

I turned in my two-week notice the day of my towel room breakdown. At that point, I knew my happiness was worth more than a free gym membership. And, now I can breathe, no more treading water. Brain is back on play and those wheels are turning, and they're turning hard. It's about time I took control of life, instead of letting it manhandle me. Time to refocus.

Cheers to a bright future 

of endless possibilities.