The Towel Room.

I'm a firm believer that 99.9999% of life is mental. We are met with experiences that make us question our abilities and potentially cause us to fear the possibilities of the future—relationships, careers, etc. Fear of the unknown...is how the saying goes. But how does one fear something one doesn’t know? Doesn’t make sense, but it happens.

I’m not ashamed to admit that it happens to me.

Stick me in the middle of Bangkok's JJ's Weekend Market, I'll eventually find my way out. Go off trail and get lost in the Tamana Negara jungle, I'll just retrace my tracks. But take me home, no debt, no major expenses, and with the ability to make moves in every which way...

Can I freak out now?
Yes? Okay.


FREEEEEAKING OUT!

Life got complicated…and scary…when I stopped thinking about progressing. Nine months ago, I gave myself six months to start traveling again. Six months ago, I started working. Five months ago, I picked up a second gig. Two months ago, I realized I was burnt out. One month ago, I turned 25. Two weeks ago, I sat hunched over and cried in a towel bin, as I asked myself:

What the fuck am I doing?

My very own Scrubs moment.

The transition back to everything North American, more specifically, Hollywoodian (?) was the hardest thing I had to go through. The culture, the people, the mentality, this weird attachment to material things and pseudo-connections, everything…I didn’t want to associate with it. So I chose not to think about it. I grabbed the remote, paused my brain, and picked up two jobs. For four months, I worked like a machine between 50-55 hours a week with one day off. Everything that was in focus before somehow dissipated.

Work. Work out. More work. Sleep.

Work out. Work. More work. Sleep.

I turned in my two-week notice the day of my towel room breakdown. At that point, I knew my happiness was worth more than a free gym membership. And, now I can breathe, no more treading water. Brain is back on play and those wheels are turning, and they're turning hard. It's about time I took control of life, instead of letting it manhandle me. Time to refocus.

Cheers to a bright future 

of endless possibilities.

The Rice and Lice Chronicles.

From playing all day and partying all night, it was time to get to work. I was one of the few teachers that were picked up straight from Kanchanaburi; everyone else went back to Bangkok on the bus. I’ll admit it, I was sad. I was leaving the only friends I had in Thailand. I feel like I’ve said this to a lot of people already but the first two days in Phetchaburi were rough. I went in and out of feeling super lonely, sad, and so out of my element that I wanted to cry.

Hello, Culture Shock. I’ve heard so much about you. It was so nice to finally meet you.

From being on spring break in Bangkok and Kanchaburi with 80 other hot young English-speaking co-eds for a week…no, actually, from being with billion other English speakers for the LAST 23 years of my life, to the ONLY English-speaker in town. Yeah! For a traveling virgin, it was a tad bit intimidating. I was in a huge house all to myself and I didn’t know anything—where to go, what I could, what I couldn’t/shouldn’t do.

I’ll explain my house to you (in the perspective of when I first got here). It’s a little dark and different from what I’m used to. The house looked like it hasn’t been lived in for a while. Lacy, dingy, used-to-be-white curtains. Mosquitoes flying around and lizards scurrying to hide behind furniture. Apparently, these cold-blooded creatures make appearances in every Thai household. I asked myself, “How am I supposed to live here for five months?”

I was laying on my bed (on top of my sleeping bag liner), on the verge of tears, and writing in my journal about all of the above. Then it hit me: I was looking at the situation from the wrong angle. I remember it so vividly. I said to myself:

Dude, what are you doing?! Get over yourself. Go outside and do something. Anything. Just do SOMETHING!

Tear ducts dried up and I had dinner with my coordinator, another teacher, and four of my students. We ate at an outdoor restaurant and it was the best remedy for my borderline homesickness funk. Most restaurants in Thailand (the good ones anyway) don’t have four walls; they’re outside and usually served rode side. At this place you could eat sitting at a table or on mats. We sat on mats and had a feast. (We probably ordered at least ten dishes and it came out to be like 300baht. That’s about $9-$11 to feed seven people. Thai prices are theeeeee best.)

My favorite part of the night was when we started to go over the pronunciation of words. They pointed, I said the word, and they repeated. Then the whole process would repeat but in Thai. It was so awesome.

They pointed to a plate of rice.

-Rice.

-Lice.

-No, No. Rrrrrice.

-Lllllice.

-Rah Rah Rah Rrrrrice.

-Rrrrrice.

-YES! You eat rice, but you have lice.

We shared a good laugh. As lame or as cheesy as this may sound, but at that specific moment, I knew I was going to be okay. I knew that I was in good hands. By putting myself out there and by surrounding myself with great people, I was able to suppress those feelings of loneliness until they didn’t exist. Phetchaburi feels like home now and it’s great. All thanks to Rice & Lice. Now, I just gotta work on my Thai. Also…being in my town during the week only makes traveling with my friends on the weekends that much better. We’ve already had some crazy adventures but I’ll save my weekend stories for the next blog…stay tuned.

I’m sure most of you guys know this already, but I’m teaching at the Prochomklao Nursing College in the Petchaburi (pronounced as Petburi by the locals) Province of Thailand. My students are not that much younger than I am, which has also made it a lot easier to be here. Despite a slight language barrier (slight because they all know some English), being with people close to my age is comforting.

Now that I have a clearer vision of how fortunate I am to be living on campus, let me explain my place. I have a two-story, two bed, two bath house all to myself. You walk through the front door into the dining/kitchen/living room area. By Kitchen area I mean refrigerator. Around the corner is the microwave and one of those things that makes your water hot. I really don’t spend too much time downstairs. Upstairs, my room has air conditioning, a wardrobe, a desk, a bed, and a little vanity. The second bedroom has mats stacked up in a corner for people to sleep on. I do have a normal toilet! Yesss. I really don’t know how I’d do if I had to squat every time. Thighs of steel for sure, but I think my homesickness phase would have lasted a little longer.

This is the front door & dining area

I can't say I spend any time watching T.V.

I think I've sat in on the couch a total of three times

I've had to quarantine myself from my other housemates...aka lizards.

My best friend, Mr. Mosquito Net.
Three cheers for Mr. M.Net!
Hip hip hooray! Hip hip hooray! Hip hip hooray!

The empty extra bedroom.

Anyway, when I got into town from Kanchanburi, I wanted to take a shower. It was hot and I didn’t really have anything to do so…a shower sounded like a good way to kill time. I turned on the water, let it run for a bit to heat it up, got in….SURPRISE! No hot water. I’ve been without warm water since October 19. It’s amazing to say, I have gotten use to taking cold showers. They’re short showers but nonetheless still cold. The initial shock is still there but it’s not so bad. One thing’s for sure, it’s a good way to wake up.

Shower curtains don't exist here. Nor does warm water.

Just call me, Ajan KJ or Teacher KJ.

I taught two classes my second day in town, each with 34 students. Teaching is possibly the third greatest thing in the whole wide world, right under traveling and Hot Cheetos. I LOVE IT! Guys, it’s so much fun. Granted, I absolutely had no idea what I was doing the first two weeks, but there is nothing like teaching. I stand in front of the class with a microphone and tell them what I know and when I have to, I crack the whip. My students are great! ALL 155 of them.

When I walk around campus, they say, “Hello, Teacher” followed by a wai (palms together in praying position and a slight bowing of the head). Of all the things I’ve observed about my students, one thing stands out: they’re trained (my first year students especially). They’re trained to cater to their teachers. When I carry things, they ask if I want them to hold anything. When I’m finished eating, they always ask to clear my plate. They never let me to do dishes. Two girls even swept my entire house without me asking! They also offered to help clean my house. Who does that?! Students who want A’s? I really don’t think that’s their ulterior motive. But it is working. Just kidding. Well, half kidding. No, no, seriously, a fourth kidding.

And if you are wondering, I don’t let them carry my stuff nor do I let them clear my plates. I did let them sweep though. Guilty. I hate sweeping. Haha damn, I’m a terrible person. It was just once. It won’t happen again. Dammit. Don’t judge me.

Peep my schedule:

My first two and a half weeks of teaching, I only had three classes:

Monday, 1-3pm: 1^st Year Students English Theory (68 students)

Wednesday, 8-10am: 1^st Year Students English Lab (34 students)

Wednesday, 10-12pm: 1^st Year Students English Lab (34 students)

Now, I have an additional three classes with 80+:

Monday, 9-12pm: 2^nd Year Students English Theory (87 students)

Thursday, 8-11am: 2^nd Year Students English Lab (44 students)

Friday, 1-4pm: 2^nd Year Students English Lab (43 students)

That’s right, folks. 155 students all to myself. That’s a lot. And Three three-hour classes? I took a four-hour class once in college and that got old an hour in (and it was just once a week). Oh this is happening alright…time to get cracking on the lesson plans.

Teaching Reflection #1

Teaching is great. I thought I’d be nervous to get up in front of the class, but I wasn’t. It felt natural. Like I was meant to do it. I love it here and I love teaching. I can’t even begin to explain it, guys. Like I said earlier, I didn’t really know what I was doing before but now I feel like I’m getting into the groove of things. My first year students were kind of like my guinea pigs, where I would test different teaching methods. Definitely found ones that worked and failed miserably. But I think that is what is so awesome about this job. You have to be flexible and just go with the flow.

My first year students did a lot of individual written work, which only made more work for me. At one point, I had at least 5 stacks of ungraded work. Never doing that again. I’ve learned to put them into groups of 6 or 7 and just have them turn in one answer sheet per group. Cuts down on my workload by a lot.

Games are a Thai student's best friend. They love their games even if it’s as simple as Simeon Says or Hangman. They love the competition and they love having fun. I played Jeopardy with my first years and I think it was the best hour of class we’ve had so far. Everyone was participating, which is all I could ever ask for.

Here are some of the things I’m struggling with (in no particular order).

· Different levels of English: Some students are familiar with and have some experience with English, while others don’t. Sometimes, I feel like class work is too easy for some and too hard for others. Gotta find that balance.

· Giggling: When I ask students questions in English, they giggle. Defense mechanism, I guess. It was funny at first, but it’s getting old. Really old.

· No books, No structure: I’m charge of creating all lesson plans from scratch, which takes me awhile since I have no previous teaching experience whatsoever. There’s a lot of head scratching and late nights. Suckkkks.

· Talking too fast: I’ve had a few students stop me and tell me to speak slower.

· Reluctance to speak English: I only seem to have a handful of students who want to speak (mostly first year) and it was frustrating. But! I did realize that I tried to avoid speaking in Espanol 201. Lo siento, profesora.

Here’s the ultimate question: How do I build up their confidence to speak English?

In no way do my struggles outweigh everything that is good about living and working in Thailand. I can honestly say that I love where I am and I love that I’m on my own. I mean, living with another English speaker would be fun, but my situation is great too because I’m fully submerged in Thai culture. Because my students have also become my friends and my tour guides to the town, I do what they do and eat what they eat. The grossest thing I’ve eaten so far is pig blood. I won’t do it again, but I can say I did it. It was solidified and came in little cubes. It was in the soup I ordered for lunch. There really isn’t a strong flavor but the texture is soft and mushy. Yuck. Ack. Gross. Gross. Gross.

Campus life is pretty chill. When I’m not in class, I’m in my little cubical grading papers and lesson planning (or more like facebooking and listening to itunes). I’m only allotted three hours of Internet per day and I will admit that at least a third of it goes to perusing Facebook. Actually three hours is a lie. I figured out that when I sign off for about an hour or two my time is bumped back up to three hours. score! When I’m not on the clock, I’ve been running and playing a lot of basketball and volleyball with my students. Volleyball is the same but I just can’t seem to get used to the way they play basketball.

First of all, I play too rough. Sometimes, I forget that I’m playing with girls. Secondly, they insist on always playing half court with 10+ people. Yeah, It gets crazy. Third, when someone makes a basket, everyone stops and claps. Fourth, they take the ball out under the basket after a made shot. Fifth, they grab and hold you down, all while screaming and laughing in a very high pitch. Sixth, the key is shaped weird. Now, I don’t know if it’s just the court on campus, but it is definitely different. Seventh, dribbling and balls out of bounds are options, as in not mandatory. I miss real basketball. I think I’ll hit up the park right outside campus and see what’s up over there. HOLLA!

Besides sports, we’ve had dinner numerous times at my house. Table of choice: the floor. Just like girls’ night, Janette, but replace the alcohol with the use of peace signs.

Oh! Man o man! I met another foreign teacher living in my town! He teaches math and computers at the school right next to mine. Thank you, Jebuddah (Jebus+buddah). It’s nice to have an English-speaking friend in town, especially one that lives just a 5-minute bike ride away. Quick story of how I met him: I was walking home from the night market and I see a white guy walking across the street, thought to myself "oh what the heck", ran across the street, and this is basically how our conversation went:

Hey, do you speak English?

-Yes.

-Awesome, do you live here?

-Um, yes.

-Can I be your friend?

-Sure.

Anyway, classes are great, students are great, and life is happening just the way I want it to.

To new travelers:

There will be times when you feel lonely or times you'll feel like you have no idea what you are doing or where you are going. It's completely normal. The cure to any sort of funk in a new country is to go out and embrace your new environment. Go make Rice & Lice stories, friends. It will keep you afloat.